I was invited into the intimacy off the final moments as a friend's dog fell asleep for the last time. We cried. Engaged in gallows humor, cried and hugged.
But I also said goodbye by choice to someone I can't quantify in my life. He has always been there like a shadow, dark and dangeous, but safe...for me. He was home. We kissed on my mothers porch and he disappeared for years. We found each other again, and always did. I can't find what wishes to remain hidden. I wanted to though. I always did.
I've thought he was dead a hundred times before. But now I suppose I will never know.
But I'm just a silly girl.