You Should Be Writing

No, this isn't some passive aggressive rant, and no it's not aimed anywhere in particular, though it has been inspired by the ubiquitous "You Should Be Writing" statement made to all writers who Do Other Stuff. So, worry off, it's not about "you, you or you"....though you may have inspired it, in which case, thank you, you've done your job!

Yes, I Know

I had free time today for the first time in about 5. Real free time. Not time spent listening for Lokisdottir to cry, drop something, fall or do any number of toddler things they do when parents eyes are not directly on them (I believe in at least some unsupervised time in her day, but I'm never far. She plays much better by herself when I'm not in the room....that's an aside.

What did I do? Nothing. I took a nap. Stared at a wall. Rested in a sunspot. Thought about everything that worries me. Thought about nothing at all. All with reckless abandon. I looked outside at projects I have begun, and could have worked on, but didn't. I ate toast because it required little thought.

And when my toddler came home with dad, I was very happy to let him take a much-needed nap, because I had time to do nada.

Where Is Lokisdottir Now?

Right here. In my lap. I'm looking around her head to type. She just slid off my lap and is headed for the tremendous number of toys we have collected over the years, and the four foot plastic slide I brought indoors for the winter. I'm here. I'm present enough. I can disengage if I need to (NOT the case with my various, longer projects, which I'll discuss later). Now she's "shopping" with her little cart. So far she "purchased" all of the magnets from the refrigerator, some dolls, and various parts of other toys that she will assemble into something unexpected here shortly.

Why I Take Writing Breaks

My writing is dark. Really dark. It puts my head in a place that doesn't necessarily inspire calm parenting, and for my outrageously active toddler, I need to be able to be there. I also believe in letting her get frustrated before I help her; usually she problem solves toute suite. Sometimes it takes a few minutes for her to realize she has to work this one out (I stop it before it becomes anger). Because I've had time to let the last five days of being "on" nonstop into a void of absolute nothingness. I find I have a much calmer approach to her.

I do smaller stuff, like this blog, or pieces of flash to incorporate into a larger story later, whether or not she's sleeping or away. I've learned to heed the Muse in that respect. If I let her go, she may not be back for a while.

Recently I "quit" writing and it was the best thing I've done for my entire family. Oh I still write. But I no longer resent the world for its interferences. There are no more moments of "TAKE A DAMN NAP!!!" It's good. And I've done some really good storyline development.

My Time is Up

Because Lokisdottir has found the mouse, and is looking for actual time with me, rather than just filler. Besides. It's the first day of Spring and it's time to go get Baldursdottir from school and head to the market for ice cream.